Humor at Christmas Avoid the Rush

Holiday fun or Holiday stress?

Some days the car won't start on the subzero temperature day and you left your gloves at home; you are standing at the cashier of the line you waited in for thirty minutes and you discover you left your wallet in the other pants/purse/jacket; or your credit card is stuck in the machine from the gum your kid dropped in your wallet after you told him not-to-be-rude-and-drop-ABC-gum-on-the-floor-but-put-it-in-your-purse-instead, and for a change he obeyed you. So gum is on the corner of the checkbook, the zipper of your wallet coin purse, the tissue packet that he opened at the wrong end, so now the Kleenex are all freed of plastic confinement, ostensibly to wrap around the gum. Ah yes, there is a fragment of gum attached to a corner of a tissue.

So, how is your day?

With the flurry of activity at the holidays, and the meaning of Christmas getting lost in the shuffle of gift buying, packaging and mailing, parties and obligations, the holidays can stress people to the nth degree. Santa is no exception.

One of my favorite editors tells this glimpse into the stress of the North Pole at this time of year.

Warning: the subject is a little known fact and a little risque. Venture at your own risk of rolling on the floor laughing...

Behler Blog



Ah yes, the angel atop the tree brings a smile to your face. Have a happy holidays and try a little humor to de-stress your life.

Love Those Dog Tricks

If it could be true that a dog would take over the daily chores, we would all want a terrier. Housework would be a thing of the past.

This is one of the cutest videos of a dog:



What is your favorite dog trick story? Tell me in the comments below.

Happy International Men's Day Nov 19

There is an International Men's Day, which originated in Tobago and Trinidad, to celebrate men and boys issues. So Happy IMD, on this November 19th.

UNESCO's Director of Women and Culture of Peace, Ingeborg Breines said that it brought balance to the gender issues, according to a Wikipedia article on IMD.

There is always the humorous look at the position of men in the world. The Milt Show puts on 'The Man' cleverly in this video. I've heard there is a comparable one for women. :)

Humor on Medical White Papers National Health Service Cuts

The following is being circulated anonymously, though the originator should stand up and take credit.

On the British National Health Service cuts:

The British Medical Association has weighed in on the new Prime Minister David Cameron's health care proposals.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The ENT specialists wouldn’t hear of it.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the ar*eholes in London .

The The Impotence of Proof Reading

Ah yes, the endless proofreading of one's writing. Some times it is difficult to catch the little mistakes that can become big mistakes as this comedian shows in his video:



Bon Mot!

The Pastor's Wife

A young pastor fell in love and proposed to the love of his life. She didn't initially accept.

"Please," he said. "What can I do to persuade you?"

"I will marry you, on two conditions. Never look in the box on my table and never ask me about it," she replied.

He thought it was weird, but he agreed and they were married.

Twenty-five years later and they were about to celebrate their wedding anniversary. They were getting ready to go out for dinner and he went to their bedroom to get his jacket.

Her box on the table caught his eye. He'd never looked in it or asked her about it, but his curiosity overwhelmed him and he opened it. Inside were three eggs and a stack of money. He counted 7,000 bills.

Putting it back, he felt ashamed, went to his wife and confessed immediately that he'd broken his promise to her.

She didn't seem too concerned, so he ventured, "May I ask about it?"

"It's okay."

"What are the eggs for?" he wondered.

"Every time you preached a lousy sermon, I put an egg in the box," she replied.

He thought, three eggs in twenty-five years, that's not too bad.

"What's the money for?" he continued.

"Well, every time I collected a dozen eggs, I sold them." she replied.

CAPTAIN AMERICA...IS LEAVING

While serving on the USS America, my colleague was training a new sailor on how to announce over the P.A. system that the ship’s Captain was leaving. The protocol involves broadcasting the name of the ship (synonymous with the Captain) followed by the words, ‘departing’. In anticipation, the officer required the sailor to practice the singsong formula: "America, …Departing"; "America, …Departing" until the Captain was ready to leave and his aide called to say that he was on his way. My colleague whispered, “The captain is leaving” to the sailor who in turn announced: "CAPTAIN ... AMERICA ... IS LEAVING."

Finding myself

Visiting at the First Presbyterian Church, Monterey CA with its baby boomer congregation; we encouraged our preschoolers to sit around Pastor Jay when he gathered the young around him to hear the weekly “children’s sermon”. He emphasized our need to worship together each week—that it was something we couldn’t do alone and used the analogy of playing ‘Hide and Go Seek’. Encouraging children to think for themselves, he asked. “Can you play ‘Hide and Go Seek’ by yourself? What would happen if you did?” My four year old son, piped up clearly for all those former hippies to hear, “Well, I’d have to go hide,” and after a thought-filled pause, finished, “…and then go find myself.”

Where Lonely Socks Go

Holding up my dirty sock, and smelling the stinky toe, I stop. It drops. I think it winks at me!

“Where is your other sock?” my mom asks for the third time tonight.

“Dunno.” Looking down at the one in my hand and then at the floor for the match. No, it’s not there.

“Do you know where my other sock is?” I whisper to the sock in my hand. I hope that no one knows I’m talking to my sock.

The sock says nothing but sags down low, looks sort of sad; not bad exactly, more twisting its toe—or is it a head—in a shrug? I let go and it falls to the rug.

I lean down low and creep up close, bending my head till I scrunch my nose and eyes and ask again. “Can you tell me where lonely socks go?” Wrinkling my nose from the smell of its toe, I’m not sure if it’s friend or foe. I wait for more, but it chooses not to say; so, I’m stuck with a puzzle. Can I learn today, the secret place where lonely socks go?

Perhaps, some sock can explain how lone socks know to start on a journey and go where they go. There must be one who’s been there and back who will tell its tale; I just have to find it and follow its trail; back to the place where lonely socks go.

So many of mine have gone away that I am certain there must be a special space that lonely socks gather to meet up with others as they travel the world or search the earth; a place where they might need my help to come home.

I seek the one that’s been there and back but I mix up whose’s whose and which’s which, so I’m not certain I’ll track which of my socks has come back from that space where lonely socks go. ...

There's more to the story, it's plain to see, each has lost a sock, maybe two or three. For this explorer the where is revealed yet a question remains though the solution is found. A conundrum exists in the story, as in life. The fun's in the journey more than solving the plight.

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