Death Startles Us

Death is not a subject that is easy to broach. Most people strive to stave off the encroachment of aging and the demise that is sure to afflict all of us.

A dear loved one is in a precarious state and all the concerns surrounding death are forced to the foreground.

I would prefer not thinking about death. I tried for a year to woo my mother back from eighteen strokes (some large, some TIAs--or transient ischemic attacks--mini strokes) and finally accepted that she was ready to move on, even if I wasn't ready to let her go. She died that afternoon, four hours after I accepted that I had to allow her to be at peace and acknowledged to God that I didn't want her to suffer for my sake--i.e. my desire to keep her here.

The quality of life has much to do with holding on or letting go. I would not wish pain and incapacity on anyone for any length of time. While pain is good for a moment; it teaches us to withdraw our fingers from the fire, to be suffering endless days of pain is not to be wished upon anyone. Functionality is important. Most people desire to feel necessary and profitable in this life. To lack capability to do anything productive or to feel unnecessary is to deny a critical aspect of what makes life worth living...leads us to feel dead even if we are not yet in the grave.

So for my loved one, I pray and commit to God the best outcome even if it does not meet my hopes of a continued vital relationship. On the one hand is loss. On the other hand is potentially a less than optimum existence, and like John Milton who wrote On His Blindness about losing that part (eyesight) which is death to hide, but lodged with him useless, we hope for more. 'Though my soul more bent to serve therewith my Maker and present my true account' I come to the resolution just as he did:'they also serve who only stand and wait.'

I feel the impotence of impending death. On the otherhand, miracles happen every day, and the rejuevenated soul is a powerful one. Life and death in the balance can be unsettling, but hope prevails against the odds. Being a 'glass half full' person, I unerringly aim for the good news and hope beyond hope.

Things have a way of working out...according to Somerset Maugham

Listening to the news of the economy, people losing jobs and looking at the diminishing pay when one is on commission...all these things are ripe to ruin a good day. But I believe in the idea that all things work together for our good.

I like to reference Somerset Maugham in his short story, 'The Tobacconist' in which the aging janitor is fired for not being able to read; in his depression he takes a walk and looks for a tobacco shop to buy some smokes. When he cannot find a shop, he decides (along with his wife) to take his savings and open a cubbyhole tobacco shop--it is successful and he repeats the pattern 10 times. Sitting with his accountant reviewing his books, his accountant reports his amazement at the fact of his multimillionaire success and that he is unable to read or write. "Just think where you'd be if you could read or write!" his accountant notes, to which the man replies. "If I could read or write, I'd be a janitor."

To that end, I believe things will work for our good. Have a great day and keep hope alive. :)

With God, Nothing is Impossible

“Lieutenant, that baby is dying.” The obstetrician’s condescending voice increased in volume with every sentence. “That baby has less than a five percent chance of being born.

The normally bustling Labor and Delivery unit at the Naval Hospital was quiet, watching the Commander dress me down. “The sonogram and ultrasound have shown no evidence of lungs. The heart is not fully formed, despite the fact that she’s full term. If that baby survives birthing, it…will…die. “

With shoulders squared—her epaulet designations clearly outranking me; she gave me no opportunity to speak. “You were called up here to talk some sense into her. You shouldn’t be giving her any false hope. Don’t use religion to prolong everyone’s trauma. No one needs to be put through this. That baby will die

Beeping monitors provided the backdrop for her continued diatribe, “You can’t change the reality with prayer.” Her pause gave me an opening.

“Eye-to-eye, I said softly with deliberation, “Doctor, …whether… that baby… lives or dies… is not up to… you …or me. Only God decides who lives and dies. If God wants that baby to live, it will live.”

The details of the story are engaging; the end result amazing.

It taught me with God, nothing is impossible.